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Writer's pictureLuminous Butter.

Family Portrait (Page 8)


Me and my husband didn't talk everyday when he went away on ‘business’. My kids (they were actually kids then) thought we did but I stopped calling him because I felt I was pestering him. You know, acting like the typical nagging wife. The truth was I didn’t really care how he was and he had that whore. I didn’t know straight away. But, when he came back he’d get sloppy. You know, calls in the night. He’d say a friend up North was having a hard time but then I’d catch him laughing and in a lighter mood after. I just knew.


They say you end up marrying someone exactly like your father. Well, my bitch of-a-mum would be laughing about that right now. My father was a serial cheater. I guess nowadays you’d call him a ‘sex addict’. Bullshit. My god! There's a name for everything nowadays so the delicate little snowflakes never have to take responsibility and own up to any wrongdoing or harm caused. I always thought my mum should’ve left my dad when the second whore was discovered but she never did. I even told her. Straight to her face. For that I received a backhander straight to the jaw. I shut up after that. That’s why I had to leave. To achieve something my mum was too chickenshit to do. I mean I know I only got 2 weeks in and I was found but I haven’t given a return date yet.



That’s what they say isn’t it? Give the husband a large dose of the whore to make him come running back but the problem with that is. He’s already fucking living with her. So, I can’t do much else other than either accept it or to run and bury my head in the sand. I know there’s a 3rd option. Divorce.


So, I've thought it though and it seems to me I got 3 options:-


Option 1: Send out a “Divorce Announcement” to everyone I know and love. Including those who I don't love. My husband and the whore will of course each receive a personalised one. This will get the message out pretty quick. Like ripping a plaster off


Option 2: A while back, there was this story on the news about this fat woman whose fiance ditched her just before the wedding and rather than cancel the wedding she just had a massive party. So, I could have a divorce party. Option 1 and Option 2 work quite well together, I guess. Have a divorce announcement and include an invitation to a divorce party. But, I think making the most out of shit situations is just not for me. If my fiancee left me just before the wedding Id freeze the cake and fuck off on a new and improved honeymoon but unfortunately I wasn't as lucky as that fat girl because my fiance did turn up to our wedding.


Option 3: Move somewhere new - maybe even a new country. Don't tell anyone I'm married with kids and start my life over. All fresh and new


Yes, I think we've found a winner winner chicken dinner.



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