I know my lying, sniveling, husband has a whore but we're married. I married him so I could have a family. And I had a choice of guys. I was smart. I picked the guy that would go the distance. Stay married and provide for his family. Couldve pick the guy that I'd wanna fuck with a decent cock who knows how to use it but I thought of my future. That guy wouldn't stay the distance. Like that boy scout saying expect the best but prepare for the worst. I fucking prepared.
Commitment is a terrible thing. It has nothing to do with love, just loyalty. Loyalty is even worse than commitment. It stops you from living your life. Mothers don't have a life of their own. They surrender it to their son and daughter, their husband, their shitty little job that they’ve managed to get after the children went to school. I don't begrudge them their lives but it doesn't seem fair somehow. I'm a great mother and I've worked hard to earn that title. Much better than my fucking mother was. I ain't one of those twats who says stupid shit like ‘being a mother is the hardest job in the world’. It just don't give you much of a personal identity.
No, my personal identity is ‘mother’, ‘wife’ and that’s my fault. I never devoted time to myself. Not in a selfish way, just in a way to discover more about myself. I’m not blaming myself, you understand? I just think my life would be a bit different if I carved out that time for other pursuits. Maybe the whore wouldn’t be my problem or maybe I would’ve learnt I deserve more. I know I’m talking as if my life is over or that I’ve got some terrible terminal illness. I’m not that lucky. I’m not thinking of packing it in or leaving for good like that Springsteen song where all that’s left are the blokes belongings. Everyone thinks that song’s about death but I figured he just had enough and ran. Started a new life.
Only fathers can start new lives. Mothers would be called all sorts of names, while being paraded through the streets. I used to know this one guy that openly admitted to leaving his wife and kids and starting a whole new life in a new town. He was liked by his colleagues and seemed to have no regrets over the choices he made. Well, I mean he was a sweaty fat fuck who had too much of a fondness for dressing-up to ‘raise money’. I kept my kids far away for that peado.
I don't understand what qualities my husband has that would attract this woman or any woman. I mean. I'm being polite about it. She ain't a woman, she's a slag!
But what if I did just up and leave? How would my family react? Would my kids still think I'm a loving mother or would they believe I abandoned them? I mean they are grown and my husband has his whore, so they can't miss me too much. And, you know? I don't think I'd miss them. Certainly not in the way everyone would expect but you know what? Fuck it!
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